Wednesday, December 25, 2013

a broken heart...

this is not
the christmas
post i had
 
planned
nor did i expect
my holiday eves
to be filled
with sorrow
followed by
eye opening
 and jaw dropping
statistics
learned from hours of research
this precious baby
girl
the granddaughter
of a woman
i worked with years ago
our sons hanging out
together when we
needed to take them
with us
is celebrating her
first christmas
without her daddy
he died
a few nights ago
just days after
this gorgeous photo
was taken
addiction
it is real
it is frightening
and it is
a very huge problem
in our community
this beautiful blue eyed
princess
is not the only
daughter waking up
fatherless
 this christmas morn
in a very short
amount of time
i've learned of
several
young men
that i have known
good decent families
with one thing
in common
heroin
we need to wake up
reach out
stop being in denial
before it is to late
our prayers
go out to the women
who are now
 alone
as they try to cope
with an empty
bed
a broken heart
and a story
they will one
day have to share
with their
children
to the families
who are heartbroken
have guilt
are asking
 why
they could not do more
how do we help
we must stop
what so many
 police departments are
declaring an
 epidemic
we must
it is killing
too many

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

snowy splendor

there's just
something
about a...


...freshly fallen snow
that brings peace
to my existence
and when it
happens
at just the right
time
late in the quiet
of evening
in front of
a window full
of kate spain
christmas quilts
my heart
becomes full
of holiday spirit

Monday, December 2, 2013

forward with hope...

life has a way
of throwing
roadblocks...


in our path
sometimes
they are tiny pebbles
sometimes boulders
often people
 the necessary part
of living
and growing
and learning
is knowing that
no matter what
one must
keep moving
forward
with hope
for a brighter
tomorrow
the haters are going
to hate
the bullies are going
to bully
the jealous types
are going to
try to cut your legs
out from under you
the insecure ones
are going to
create drama
still
keep moving forward
with hope
just believe
in yourself

Monday, November 11, 2013

nature's beauty

i've had the
privilege
of staring...

at this richness
in our front yard 
for the past week
i'm afraid today
she'll be gone
as the winter winds
are blowing in
 across the lake
her beauty i
am thankful to have
captured
for remembrance
throughout the cold
snowy days
her glory shall return
next year
mother nature is kind
that way

Thursday, October 24, 2013

healing threads

for three years now
we have been
stitching for others...
 
 
in beautiful happy colors
our mission is
simple
to help others
feel better
to let others know
we care
it's a simple gesture
that allows our
sarah to create
then share her talents
this week
for the first time
in more than four years
she herself
has been in the hospital
double pneumonia
last night
 at the suggestion
of a customer
i brought her a pillowcase
and a quilt
this morning as the room
became chilly
following a power outage
due to a massive
ice storm
i witnessed first
hand
what a difference
it can make
as she slept so
peacefully
the first time
in more than a week

Saturday, October 19, 2013

miracles in the clouds...

days like this
remind me
although i want...
 

to think i'm
in charge
i'm really not
 we indeed arrived in
 new orleans last night
but by four this morning
i knew sarah
was in trouble
 so we called for a taxi
 and headed back
to the airport
 for the first flight
to ohio
the taxi driver
no doubt
divinely sent
 midway through
somewhere over the midwest
it was apparent
her airway
was collapsing
 so i asked
 the flight attendant
for a small tank of oxygen
 instead
 i got multiple emt's
quickly responding
 to her plea
for help
 they were heading to a
first responders
 convention
in south bend
the one who stepped up first
a gentle giant of a man
sarah adored him
the admiration
quickly became mutual
then we landed
to see out our window
three firetrucks
 and two ambulances
 at the gate
as the doors
 of the plane flew open
chicago's finest
 dressed in blue
raced in
to scoop up my girl
 and in the process
we educated
 an entire plane
 full of strangers
who cheered, clapped
threw praises
and blessings our way
feeling very grateful
that we safely arrived home
and thankful for the
strength that
comes over me in times
like this
so sorry to have missed the
wedding
and the quilt shops
we had planned
to visit during our stay
we'll have to make
a return visit
one day soon
especially to thank
tommie walters
of baton rouge
our hero on flight 1792

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

a grateful crash

i went to
the body shop
today...
 
 
to clean out
the boy's car
as the
insurance company
 has declared
it a total loss
not surprising as
it was more
than a decade old
i started with
the center console
then the glove box
scooped up the
two soccer balls
the empty energy drink cans
before moving
to the back hatch
as i gathered
a single lose sock
my eyes welled
with tears
my heart became soft
realizing there
are parents
who would cling to
this stinky sock
as a remembrance
of a last game played
the scent of their athlete gone
they would carry
this box full of stuff
home to an
 empty bedroom
i said a little prayer
in that parking lot
feeling very grateful
for second chances
this evening

Friday, October 4, 2013

true story...

i don't believe I've ever
gotten
political on this blog...
 
here I am...stuck in the middle with you
 
...but there's a
 time for everything
and today
on the fourth day
 of the
government shut-down
of 2013
over healthcare
presumably
they've left me no choice
happy friday

Sunday, September 8, 2013

blueprints and wood planks...

i've been up to
my eyeballs
which reminds...
 
 
...me
 i need to make
an appointment
for new glasses
but that's off topic
with blueprints
kitchen plans
wood planks
paint chips
laminate samples
shower stalls
toilets and sinks
even window details
i'd forgotten just how
time consuming
building a house can be
finding the perfect balance
of the hot new trends
with the already existing
furniture
as well as
anticipating potential
resale value
add an additional
 generation
 to the mix
and the time grows
exponentially
but then
 so do the rewards
evidenced
 by this picture
perfectly timed
by our higher power
 to be taken
on grandparent's day
 
 
the multigenerational trio
standing together
for the first time
in their new home
i would be
remiss if not mentioning
that we have been told
on numerous occasions
that both my mother and sarah
would likely not make
it through the night
due to brain injuries,
heart conditions
severe respiratory distress
 
 
and look at them now
plotting mischief
behind two by fours
feeling very grateful
tonight

Monday, September 2, 2013

on a mission...

simply the most
perfect title
for this journey...
 
 
we are on
it is a mission indeed
 it's humbling
 yet so gratifying
 to see our story
 in full color and print
especially
 in the prestigious
better homes & gardens
quilt sampler
 definitely a
dream come true
and such a wonderful
opportunity to
spread the love
as i'm quoted
in the closing paragraph
our business has never been
 about selling fabric
ever
it's about human connections
making a difference
 to others
for others
and with others
it's about being a
gathering place
for creative souls
to share
whether that be
pain and sorrow
or happiness
and triumph
or simply celebrating
down syndrome
grateful beyond words

Thursday, August 29, 2013

crashed memoirs...

in a flash
of a second
my laptop...
 

just died
 one minute it's working
the next nothing
for a brief moment
i was in a panic
realizing the last
backup was several
months ago
i've been writing
often lately
as in late in the night
bearing my soul
to the black shiny dell
 for my fiftieth birthday
then i remembered
the last time a computer
crashed the data was
restored
 so i decided
to pack it up
and take it in for service
last night
 the tech called
my laptop failed
the hard drive crashed
data lost
gone forever
unless i want to spend
a thousand or more
and send it off to
a data recovery source
i wanted to cry
instead
 i confirmed i would
pick it up
as i clung to the
inanimate piece
of plastic tonight
i was comforted to know
it now secretly held
some of my darkest moments
my late night rants
my seventeen chapter
memoir
the one the publisher was
interested in
until i decided it
was not ready for
publication
at least not yet
maybe never
and that's when it hit me
this system crash
just maybe
 it was meant
to be
it's time to tightly close
that chapter in my life
let it go
what is
 was meant to be
what's not
 isn't worth the worry
the future is tomorrow
a new beginning
deserving of a brand new
hard drive
just waiting for
fresh ideas

Saturday, August 17, 2013

when fantasies collide

when i was younger
i thought life
was a destination...
 
 
...at some magical point
everything came together
and we lived
happily ever after
and with that illusion
i carried certain fantasies
fairy tales perhaps
 of what
the perfect life
 looked like
and then i continued
to have disappointment
pain and heartache
i felt let down
discouraged
cheated
angry even
now i am learning
that the true problem
is my fantasies
were flawed
and life is more like
a journey
i need to rearrange my
expectations
and simply appreciate
 what
i do have
to be grateful
for what's surrounding me
to love those closest
to my heart
to simply be thankful
for what is

Sunday, August 4, 2013

there's beauty...

...all around us
although sometimes
we simply need...


...to pause
 for a moment
to take a breath
close our eyes
inhale
then slowly
 exhale
open our eyes
and look around
to see the beauty
the richness in our
lives
the friendships
the happiness
the joy
i've been in this church
so many times
i lead two groups of
girl scouts who met
in this church
every single monday
for nearly a decade
i can look across the street
from our quilt shop
and see this
wall of windows
yet i have
never
taken the time
to see just how
 beautiful
the stained glass
truly is
and isn't that an
irony of life
we have
so much
to be thankful for
so much
to be grateful for
so much
to cherish
and instead
we fail to see the beauty
we simply see
a wall of windows
today i shall look closer
deeper perhaps
in all i do
for the beauty
all around me
i'd like to
 express my
most sincere appreciation
to jessica love of
for capturing that
which shines so brightly
and to the
amazing bride
stacy broerman
and her prince charming
adam keck
for allowing me
and our precious sarah
to be a part of their
magnificent day

Sunday, July 28, 2013

wings of a friend...

it's been a rather
hard week
for many reasons...
 
 
it felt like i'd been
punched
 in the gut
more than once
life is hard
i get that
but add a child with
mental challenges
 to the mix
and it is often
 heartbreaking
not the disability itself
rather the adults
around us that should
know better
but elect to not think
or just not care
by friday i
was emotionally
about done
so i decided
we needed a break
a quiet night at the pool
before that would
happen though
i had to jump through
a few ridiculous
in the midst of the chaos
we stopped
at the construction site
where a house
 is being built
for sarah
for her grandparents
at first
i had to coax
her out of the car
but once we got
to the back of the lot
all of a sudden
her face illuminated
as she spotted
a beautiful butterfly
she perfectly announced
it was her friend
her enthusiasm
at that moment
was contagious
to the builder
and to me
i have no doubt
kristen flew in
to bring comfort
to us all
for the rest of the day
was perfect
 in everyway

Thursday, July 18, 2013

thursday thought

oh the memories
of dancing
 with the groom...

 
i see trees of green 
 red roses too 
 i see 'em bloom 
for me and for you 
and I think to myself 
what a wonderful world 
 i see skies of blue 
clouds of white 
 bright blessed days 
dark sacred nights 
 and I think to myself 
what a wonderful world 
the colors of a rainbow 
so pretty in the sky 
are also on the faces 
of people going by 
 i see friends shaking hands 
sayin' how do you do 
they're really say'in 
i love you 
 i hear babies cry 
i watch them grow 
they'll learn much more 
than i'll ever know 
 and I think to myself 
 what a wonderful world 
wonderful indeed
i'll love you always son

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

a new chapter...

so very proud
of my parents
as they begin...
 
 
...the next chapter
of their lives
after forty six years
in the same house
they have happily
agreed to move
into a brand new home
as a trio
with their granddaughter
by their side
the three of them
will become a unit
watching out
 for each other
caring for one another
and growing together
it's never too late
to begin
again
so grateful that
we have this opportunity
for our entire family
i think this will be
an incredible experience
for all of us
it just feels so right

Monday, June 24, 2013

moving on...

took my last
and
final look...
 

...out into the courtyard
of boulevard green today
from this third floor balcony
off the master suite
it's a beautiful view
i'll forever think fondly
 of our time spent here
so many wonderful
memories created
with our family
some very personal time too
it was absolutely
without a doubt
the best decision we
made seven years ago
a mid-life crisis
playground perhaps
today
it is time to move on
as life has it
we are now ready to
create something
new
a multi-generational
plan of care
a concept originally
 created
with the family
confirmed by our
higher power
when a buyer was sent
to us within hours
of our listing
life goes on
indeed
very grateful

Sunday, June 16, 2013

celebrating...

the dads
in
my life...


wishing a happy father's day
to my wonderful dad
 also my husband
 the father
 of my children
without these two rocks
 our family
 would not be
what it is today
  they have both
 so tirelessly
unselfishlessly
 and without condition
 dedicated their lives
to sarah
her siblings
and to me
i am most grateful

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

protecting the children...

before i even
got
out of bed...
.
 
...i knew
 it was going to be
one of those days
i only have one day
each week to run errands
make phone calls
visit doctors
and on this monday
my list was a mile long
with a wedding less than
 two weeks away
i had shoes to find
undergarments, hair clips
water proof make-up
as i know the tears will
be flowing freely
add to that
the stress of finding
a climate controlled
storage unit
large enough to hold
the contents of a
three level
fully furnished condo
not to mention a
moving company willing
to haul the contents
and you get the picture
oh wait i forgot
sarah and her fever
and the puke landing
in my hands
i guess that is better
than on the carpet
a fender bender
certainly was not
the added distraction i needed
yet as i think back on it
was i there for
a reason
after a few hours
 of running around
i was parched
so i pulled into
a wendy's drive thru
for a strawberry lemonade
i remember saying to myself
how adorable the four
pink and purple
bikes were parked next to the
front door
school is just now
out for the summer
and they had probably
been planning their
visit for weeks
when the car
started to back directly
into my path
there was no where
i could go
i prepared for the impact
as it was surely going
 to happen
despite my frantic
horn blowing
everyone heard the crash
but still she did not stop
instead
 she put more pressure
on the gas pedal
i could hear it
and i could hear the plastic
of my car crunching
as it was being
 pushed backwards
to the point i was afraid
of hitting the car directly
behind me
finally her car came to a halt
as i approached
 her window
i discovered it was an
 elderly woman
very disoriented and confused
so i called 911
as i was sitting there waiting
for the police
i realized the children
had come out
and had been getting
on their bikes
had my car not been sitting
where it was
she could likely have
run them over
 as they were directly
 in her path
on the other side of my car
all of a sudden my
hectic day
slowed down
to a peaceful perspective
my tiny fender bender
can be fixed
for that
i'm so very grateful

Monday, May 27, 2013

secrets...

we have not 
 been hiding
on purpose...


 just so many secrets
in this world
 of quilting
all good though
especially
when I get to spend the
entire weekend
sewing with
my sarah girlie
so grateful for that
we've had fun
and been so uber
productive
magazines
movies
surprises galore
stay tuned
the next few months
will
have lots of fun
disclosures
in the meantime
just know we are
good and busy

Sunday, April 21, 2013

columbus creativity...

i've been fortunate
to have an
extra corner...
.
 
...for creativity
in columbus
it was decked
in scarlet and gray
a homage to the home team
i used to come down
often
then we opened
 the quilt shop
and my time became
less free
yet so much more
 rewarding
there were signs
gentle nudges
perhaps
followed by thunder claps
 to the ears
that told us the time
 had come
to let someone else
enjoy the surroundings
i believe we were
listening
to a higher calling
for today we entered
into a contract
less then twenty four hours
on the market
divinely lead
no doubt
i'm sure
as i gather
 my sewing machine
stamps and crafts
it will be hard to say
goodbye
they're never easy
but i shall be ready
to prepare for our
next chapter

Monday, April 1, 2013

this side of the aquarium...

one of our
favorite easter
memories...
.
 
...is the year
our precious sarah
discovered
the easter bunny
travels in a big white limo
we've never had
the courage to tell her
that only happens
when he is visiting
sick kiddos
she was a patient that year
another respiratory crisis
followed by pnuemonia
i just happened to
be pushing her
in a wheelchair
down by the lobby when
the charming scene
unfolded
i've never forgotten
 all those times
we spent on the floor
of the cleveland clinic children's hospital
i was always so touched
by the various gifts
delivered by volunteers
that's why our delivery
of more than one hundred pillowcases
feels so extra special good
i know there are parents
who are hurting right now
because
 it is a terrible
feeling to watch
 your child suffer
in a hospital bed
those thoughts were confirmed
as we walked about yesterday
words do not need
 to be exchanged
just eye contact
is enough
followed by the slight smile
when they realize
our girl has done something
special for them
in loving memory of her
friend kristen kirton
i am so very grateful that
we have been given the
 privelege
to return to the peds floor
and be on this side
of the aquarium

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

our quilt healer...

this photo
is making
it's way...
.
 
...around the world
 on facebook
as part of the
"i am" campaign
by the idsc
as of this moment
it has been shared
 more than 290 times
it has over 2,300 likes
and more than
175 comments
in several languages
it's impact is far reaching
yet
the irony
of this photo
of that green dress
of that day
is this...
the last time it was posted
in cyberspace
it created a firestorm
of anger
of resentment
of a venomously hateful tirade
and it shut me down for
days, weeks even
and then
slowly
 i started
over
a new beginning
with wobbly legs
  yet just like a newborn foal
i started to stand up
for myself
for my family
for sarah
and slowly yet
very deliberately
i found new footing
on more solid ground
and soon
life took an amazing turn
one that was so
divinely lead
there were days it felt
greater than award winning fiction
i realized a path
had been created
for us
our purpose
 was taking shape
and i started to see the fruits
of our hard work
our belief in something
greater
a higher power
was confirmed
i am humbled
that our story
is making such a
difference for others
there is no irony that the
message is this
all life is precious
indeed it is

Saturday, March 2, 2013

it's all coming together...

just a few
 weeks ago
i wrote about...
.
 
 my fifty third birthday
twenty thirteen
was going to be the year
i was so looking forward to
for the first time in
my life
i feel like i am
beginning to see
how life all
comes together
how cleansing your heart
 makes room
for so much more
and that
 believing in myself
believing in others
believing in miracles
just believing
was allowing a
 beautiful synergy
and creating an atmosphere
for humbled greatness
the first of which
 is now in print
to read more

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

uggs 4 U mom...

for some reason
my mother
is obsessed...
.

with my uggs
she just
 can't
stop
talking
about
my
uggs
so i thought
she might like
a picture of
the trio
that i wear
every
single
day
with no socks
even when it's ten degrees
 outside
then once i get to the store
i take my feet out
of my uggs
and put my wolky kukana's on


with no socks
even when it is
ten degrees
 outside
my feet are
gloriously happy
and pain free
the end

Monday, February 18, 2013

posy love

the instant i viewed
posy
i fell in love...
.
 
aneela hoey has created
the perfect springtime
bunnies, chicks and
little girls playing in the field
the lavendar is what
got my though
such the perfect shade
makes for a lovely display
right next to my
favorite machine

Saturday, February 9, 2013

chocolate + socks + paper

there's snow
everywhere
this weekend...
.
 
...even in places
 it's usually not
seems like a perfect time
to share my snowman
a chocolate bar
a pair of purple socks
some white paper
a few markers
and
a bit of whimsical talent
creates the cutest snowman
my youngest son's girlfriend
found the idea on pinterest
and
created it just for me
thank you jessica