Thursday, August 29, 2013

crashed memoirs...

in a flash
of a second
my laptop...

just died
 one minute it's working
the next nothing
for a brief moment
i was in a panic
realizing the last
backup was several
months ago
i've been writing
often lately
as in late in the night
bearing my soul
to the black shiny dell
 for my fiftieth birthday
then i remembered
the last time a computer
crashed the data was
 so i decided
to pack it up
and take it in for service
last night
 the tech called
my laptop failed
the hard drive crashed
data lost
gone forever
unless i want to spend
a thousand or more
and send it off to
a data recovery source
i wanted to cry
 i confirmed i would
pick it up
as i clung to the
inanimate piece
of plastic tonight
i was comforted to know
it now secretly held
some of my darkest moments
my late night rants
my seventeen chapter
the one the publisher was
interested in
until i decided it
was not ready for
at least not yet
maybe never
and that's when it hit me
this system crash
just maybe
 it was meant
to be
it's time to tightly close
that chapter in my life
let it go
what is
 was meant to be
what's not
 isn't worth the worry
the future is tomorrow
a new beginning
deserving of a brand new
hard drive
just waiting for
fresh ideas

Saturday, August 17, 2013

when fantasies collide

when i was younger
i thought life
was a destination... some magical point
everything came together
and we lived
happily ever after
and with that illusion
i carried certain fantasies
fairy tales perhaps
 of what
the perfect life
 looked like
and then i continued
to have disappointment
pain and heartache
i felt let down
angry even
now i am learning
that the true problem
is my fantasies
were flawed
and life is more like
a journey
i need to rearrange my
and simply appreciate
i do have
to be grateful
for what's surrounding me
to love those closest
to my heart
to simply be thankful
for what is

Sunday, August 4, 2013

there's beauty...

...all around us
although sometimes
we simply need... pause
 for a moment
to take a breath
close our eyes
then slowly
open our eyes
and look around
to see the beauty
the richness in our
the friendships
the happiness
the joy
i've been in this church
so many times
i lead two groups of
girl scouts who met
in this church
every single monday
for nearly a decade
i can look across the street
from our quilt shop
and see this
wall of windows
yet i have
taken the time
to see just how
the stained glass
truly is
and isn't that an
irony of life
we have
so much
to be thankful for
so much
to be grateful for
so much
to cherish
and instead
we fail to see the beauty
we simply see
a wall of windows
today i shall look closer
deeper perhaps
in all i do
for the beauty
all around me
i'd like to
 express my
most sincere appreciation
to jessica love of
for capturing that
which shines so brightly
and to the
amazing bride
stacy broerman
and her prince charming
adam keck
for allowing me
and our precious sarah
to be a part of their
magnificent day