just because...

he melts

my

 mom heart...

...and every time
he comes home
it seems
he has grown
another inch
still
he'll always be
my baby
youngest son
he oozes
much love
so very grateful

a photo worth celebrating...

it's a tradition

photos of the kids

sometimes...

us parent's too

it was easier when

they were young

all under the same roof

then they age

and off they go

to their own worlds

with a wife and a girlfriend

it's hard sometimes

knowing just

how far to push

when to let go

how to stay connected

add in a grudge

 or two

a betrayal

hurtful words

and life gets even

more

 complicated

and at times confusing

this little family

is fractured right now

heartbreaking

yet necessary

with time comes healing

maturity

perspective

and hopefully

 new found energy

to move forward

to create new beginnings

thankful for the

happy times

such as this picture

taken on sister's birthday

for those memories

keep your heart

beating

sweet child of mine...

my baby

the third born

always...

...always, always

keeps me on my toes

his little antics

are never too bold

just enough to

have me scratching

my head

wondering what i could

do different

perhaps better

as a parent

he has a heart of

pure gold

though

a work ethic

like none other

at eighteen

he busses tables

at a country club

hard grunt work

last night

he came home

with flowers

for me

just because

they are

purple

and he knew

i'd love them

which i do

i love him

even more

the early years...

i've been

living 

in a funk...

lately

just not sure

of anything

anymore

life has a way

of waking you

up

every now

and then

just when

the days seem

to be coming together

bam

out of the blue

comes a

situation

that takes you by

complete

surprise

renders you

clueless, shocked

disappointed

and heartbroken

then just as

you dry the last

of the tears

a small treasure

appears

a memento from

years past

that brings

a smile back to

your face

puts a glimmer

of happiness

back into your day

just enough

to recognize

that

those early years

are there

forever

treasure

the memories

and know

they are yours

to keep

no matter what

my handsome prince...

i've learned

 so much

from this one...

our third born

the baby

of the family

he came out wildly

kicking

nonstop

and it was that

way for years

oh the stories

we can share

somewhere

along the way

he developed the

kindest heart

the warmest smile

a tenderness

and compassion

not often seen

in a boy his age

i think his classmates

recognize it too

they voted him

to the homecoming court

this week

so proud of him

and grateful

to be his mom

a grateful crash

i went to

the body shop

today...

 

 

to clean out

the boy's car

as the

insurance company

 has declared

it a total loss

not surprising as

it was more

than a decade old

i started with

the center console

then the glove box

scooped up the

two soccer balls

the empty energy drink cans

before moving

to the back hatch

as i gathered

a single lose sock

my eyes welled

with tears

my heart became soft

realizing there

are parents

who would cling to

this stinky sock

as a remembrance

of a last game played

the scent of their athlete gone

they would carry

this box full of stuff

home to an

 empty bedroom

i said a little prayer

in that parking lot

feeling very grateful

for second chances

this evening

blueprints and wood planks...

i've been up to

my eyeballs

which reminds...

 

 

...me

 i need to make

an appointment

for new glasses

but that's off topic

with blueprints

kitchen plans

wood planks

paint chips

laminate samples

shower stalls

toilets and sinks

even window details

i'd forgotten just how

time consuming

building a house can be

finding the perfect balance

of the hot new trends

with the already existing

furniture

as well as

anticipating potential

resale value

add an additional

 generation

 to the mix

and the time grows

exponentially

but then

 so do the rewards

evidenced

 by this picture

perfectly timed

by our higher power

 to be taken

on grandparent's day

 

 

the multigenerational trio

standing together

for the first time

in their new home

i would be

remiss if not mentioning

that we have been told

on numerous occasions

that both my mother and sarah

would likely not make

it through the night

due to brain injuries,

heart conditions

severe respiratory distress

 

 

and look at them now

plotting mischief

behind two by fours

feeling very grateful

tonight

a new chapter...

so very proud

of my parents

as they begin...

 

 

...the next chapter

of their lives

after forty six years

in the same house

they have happily

agreed to move

into a brand new home

as a trio

with their granddaughter

by their side

the three of them

will become a unit

watching out

 for each other

caring for one another

and growing together

it's never too late

to begin

again

so grateful that

we have this opportunity

for our entire family

i think this will be

an incredible experience

for all of us

it just feels so right

moving on...

took my last

and

final look...

 

...out into the courtyard

of boulevard green today

from this third floor balcony

off the master suite

it's a beautiful view

i'll forever think fondly

 of our time spent here

so many wonderful

memories created

with our family

some very personal time too

it was absolutely

without a doubt

the best decision we

made seven years ago

a mid-life crisis

playground perhaps

today

it is time to move on

as life has it

we are now ready to

create something

new

a multi-generational

plan of care

a concept originally

 created

with the family

confirmed by our

higher power

when a buyer was sent

to us within hours

of our listing

life goes on

indeed

very grateful

fresh flowers...

and ric rack

brighten up

the quilt shop...

. 

 

on my special day

thank you matt & jessica

you are two

of the sweetest teenagers

i know

i am grateful to share

my life with

 you

and you with

 me

dreaming of beautiful family memories...

we had a

whirlwind

of a weekend...

.

 

i was wondering just

what to write about

how to approach the subject

then today i was cutting

 these labels

from a fabric collection

 by cosmo cricket

and they just spoke to me

a few years ago

i was dreaming large

i had a fantasy

only that vision

 crashed and burned

working through pain and reflecting

i became accutely aware

it was just that

 a fantasy

and what i needed to do

was get to a place of forgiveness

then live my life

 day by day

being ever so thankful

for what i did have

grateful for the simple

things in life

to take in the beauty of it all

and i needed to embrace

my husband

my own sons and daughter

hug and love them

everyday

because we are family

and i needed to create

 new dreams

outloud

and

establish new fantasies

with those who

i love

and who love me

so this weekend

we all arrived

at different times

into the same place

we slept in beds

we inflated air mattresses

we cheered at a football game

we dined as

a family

we invited friends

 to join us

we were making memories

our own beautiful times

as we are family

the mason jar...

i had the privilege

of spending

an entire weekend...

.

 

with my youngest son

at a soccer showcase

in xenia, ohio

it's an event designed

for college coaches to

observe potential players

that in itself

seems nearly impossible

how he can be sixteen

already is mind numbing

time is flying by

much. too. fast

in the middle of the

afternoon

i let him have the room

 to himself

wink, wink...

 

...and i took off in pursuit

of nearby quilt shops

 discovered three in a short radius

i just knew as soon as i

pulled in the parking lot

this would be a good one

the mason jar quilt shoppe

located in beavercreek, ohio

a suburb of the dayton area

quite close to wright state university

and the air force base

charming in every way

the owner, michele mason

love her play on words

has created an inspiring

 and relaxing venue

full of antiques

 and reproduction fabric

i've definately decided when

it comes to quilt shops

bigger is not always better

same thing holds true

 for soccer players

i've observed

as we were driving home

late last night

my son said to me

he really enjoyed

 our time together

me too matt

me too

we might just have to plan

another little excursion

especially now that we have

katrina and kelsey

ready and willing to hold down

the shop for the day

so very grateful

for all

 that has come my way

little boy blue...

he came to see me

all dressed up

my little boy...

.

heading to homecoming

so handsome

so sweet
so loving
 i am so very blessed
and grateful

a miracle indeed...

just about this time

four years ago

life started to take...

.

 

a twist and a turn

sarah's health was failing

quickly

right before our eyes

i recently came across this pic

and posted it on facebook

 with the following caption...

 

Do you believe in miracles? I'm currently uploading photo cards from prior years. This pic just caught me by surprise. It was taken about three months after I left my job in 2009 to care for Sarah fulltime. Her doctor suggested it was time to write a dx of COPD and bring in hospice, as there was nothing more they could do for her. Looking at her tiny frail body, I can almost see why. I am so thankful I was given the courage and strength to not give up on her. Thankful too that my hubby was able to step up his business so we could continue to pay the bills. To-date, we have been hospital free now for 3 1/2 years-the longest stretch in Sarah's 23 years of life.

 

the seventy two likes

and many comments

took my breath away

it seems our girl

is an inspiration

to many

it's a good reminder to me

to follow the lead

of our creator

the path that is ours

has been masterfully

orchestrated

and i know now

more than ever

we are where

we are supposed to be

gifts...

when an ultrasound

suggested

our third child...

.

 

...was likely a boy

our oldest son

asked to name him

a scary proposition

as one of my friends

had also just been through this

and her son's choice

for his soon to be little brother

was alfalfa

still i trusted

 the wisdom of our

eight year old

he chose matthew richard

the middle name i understood

 completely

it was after my father

the first name

came out of nowhere

so i looked up the meaning

gift of god

is what i found

sounded logical

as i believe all children

are gifts

today i had the pleasure of

spending the entire afternoon

with the now teenager

we shopped

for shirts and ties and suits

we dined at panera

his suggestion

we drove around

with him at the wheel

we talked

we reminisced

we connected

it hasn't always been like this

there were days

in the early years that

i would truthfully have

entertained returning

the gift

he was challenging

full of spit and fire

and then one day i recognized

it was partly my fault

he did not have my

entire heart

it was intertwined in anger

full of self doubt

it was living in a state

of denial

i was too concerned about

my fantasy of what

i thought life should be

rather than living

in the here and now

i had to first love myself

before i could expect him to

i had to get rid of the

negative energy swirling

around our life

i worked hard at that

thankfully

i openly shared my journey with

my husband

and found he too had arrived

at the same place

at about the same time

we worked together

as a team

as a couple

each time we plateaued

 divine intervention

would take over

threatening phone calls

came into our lives

at just the right time

untruthful letters arrived

that made us start over

just as we thought

conclusions had been reached

a nasty email was opened

which made us dig even deeper

and with

each mile of the journey

each step of the way

it was matthew

who grew right beside us

as our hearts became whole

so too did his

as positive energy

replaced the negative

so too did his

behavior change

as our souls became

spiritually driven

so too did his

i recognized today

as i held his hand

as i looked into his eyes

as i watched him interact

with those around him

that he truly is a

gift from god

i am grateful beyond words

for his patience

for his love

for giving me an even greater gift

that of forgiveness

for it is that which

truly opens your heart

to the possibilities of living

the beautiful future...

i believe

the children

are our future...

.

adam, maria, julie & tj

...teach them well 

 and let them lead the way 
show them all the beauty 

 they possess inside 
give them a sense of pride 

 to make it easier... 

thoughtful lyrics by the

late whitney houston

play over in my mind

as i had the privilege

 of spending

the weekend with these

four amazing and delightful

human beings

they are our future

male cousins by blood

friends for life

with their soul mates

divinely and spiritually driven

to make a difference

moving forward with the best

of intentions

with the love and support of

their families

so very grateful
to be able to share
in their lives

counting each one...

today is the day

my hubby and i

said i do...

.

...twenty six years ago

at first i was not

going to mention it

felt like it was almost

a non celebratory year

after the much

awaited twenty five

last year

then late this evening

a customer came in

we talked alot

about her husband

and his untimely death

following a diagnosis of cancer

 just a few short months ago

they had celebrated

fourteen years

she so wishes she had more

she misses him so

and i got to thinking

each year does need to be

recognized

celebrated

even if it's only a special kiss

to say i love you more than before

our time here is borrowed

each day is a gift

happy 26th anniversary john

peace, love & happiness...

if ever i've

questioned

the validity...

.

of a grand master plan

the perfection

 of this evening

showed me otherwise

the mere hands of man

could never have

orchestrated

what i witnessed

what i felt

the manner in which

twenty seven years of life

played out

the script was better

than anything

i could have written

the wonderment

the healing

the thankfulness

shall never be taken for granted

i am humbly grateful

and most excited

 for the future

celebrating family...

the beauty

of

the evening...

.

...can't be defined

 in just a few words

being with family

celebrating love

being witness to our creator's

master plan

is a great evening indeed

congratulations to

christy & abel

new husband and wife

reflecting on father's day...

the third sunday

of every june

is the day...

.

...we honor the father's

in our life

i've been thinking about

this subject alot lately
for a variety of reasons
maybe it's because
i am getting older
mostly though
 i think it's because
 i am watching
my son
 become a man
and every single day
i see more and more
of my father in him
and that's a really good thing