Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011 year in review

i don't live by horoscopes...



Year 2011 Overview

'Change' is your middle name at this point, Capricorn. You've been through more personal transformation in the past two years than perhaps in your entire life. The upside is that you're getting used to the intensity of it all. It helps that you're realizing the futility in holding on to people and possessions that only stunt your growth. So many layers continue to be shed on a daily basis but this also gives way to unquestionable personal power. Pluto in Capricorn will carry on for another 14 years; so if this is just the tip of the iceberg, imagine who you will be on the other side of your metamorphosis.

This year the focus shifts from a lifestyle focused on gadgets, information and social networking to introspection, home and family. You are about to encounter your most uncensored raw self on levels as of yet unprecedented. Ready yourself, Goat, because this spring an explosion of fiery planets in Aries sweeps the very base of your horoscope getting you back in touch with some of your most primal instincts. Competition, aggression and the need for plenty of physical outlets ensue.

Some long-standing money issues are finally coming to a finish as the planet of illusion and delusion gets ready to move on to your communication sector. You've learned to use your discrimination in choosing where to invest and where to spend. For the next 14 years, instead of worrying about money leakages you'll be working on mindfulness to avoid spacing out. In any case, your way with words is apt to become poetic and inspired, which can only make the world appear infinitely more beautiful.

...yet last years predictions were so spot on, i would not have been able to write it better myself.  so looking forward to what 2012 brings along...

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

simply sweet...

when i finally
awoke
from my nap...
.

...i realized there
 were cookies
 to bake
i hummed and
 i hawed
and realized
the one's they really
want
 take no time at all
peanut blossoms
and gingersnaps
sure enough
baked and gone
in no time at all

Sunday, December 25, 2011

enough said...

even for me
this is unusual
but then...
.

...i've never ever
worked in retail
for an entire year
in my life
wishing you all
 a very merry christmas

Friday, December 23, 2011

new traditions...

this little blog
of mine
has morphed into...
.

a personal diary of sorts
a place to write
my thoughts
in addition to
sharing creativity
it is also preserving
memories
in an electronic format
and this pic is one
i never wish to loose
julie and tj
how i love these two
they have been
 growing up before our eyes
for several years actually
high school sweethearts
college comrades
and now
apartment dwellers
establishing
 new holiday traditions
of their own
it's a marvelous sight
for this momma's eyes
and heart
the best kind of christmas gift

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

efaith restored...

it's such a euphoric
feeling
 to end the year...
.

...with my faith restored
in mankind
do you remember
my tale
with the seller
from h e double hockey sticks
email from the attorney
at ebay
when i escalated a claim
that could have been
summarized
in one sentence
the ebay buyer protection plan
doesn't cover broken
stinky sewing machines
well believe it or not
after my ego recovered
i bid again on a pfaff 1475
and lost
so i sorta gave up
but oh how i love
 that machine


best one ever made
i have a few groups
of young teens
 waiting in the wings
for sewing classes
i can't wait to
get started
one more machine
 would be ideal
in sarah's sewcial lounge
so i bounced back onto
ebay
and found one
i bid and i won
it arrived today
packaged perfectly...


in the best
 of condition
even better
than my own
and included
a nice little note
from the seller
thank you mario
you made my day
and restored my faith
in mankind
ebay should thank you
i certainly do

Sunday, December 18, 2011

making progress...

i'm so very far
behind
in my paperwork...
.

...but it's quite boring
so to reward myself
each month i finished
i stitched one more row
i'm up to november
which means
ten more rows
of x-rated
 are complete

Saturday, December 17, 2011

loving luscious...

and making some
progress
with the hand...
.

stitching
one of the most
frequently heard
comments
when i announced
i would be opening
 a quilt store
nice
you'll be able to sew all day
not
doesn't happen often
until i started
my hand stitching project
i'm addicted
once again

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

the purple knickers...

twenty years ago today
that's how sarah and i
often start posts over...
.

it's fun to see what
we were up to
twenty years ago today
at times i think
twenty years is so long ago
and then i look
 at the photos
and it seems like
just yesterday
tonight
as i looked at what
we were doing
i huge wave of emotion
comes over me
first off
it's the purple velveteen
the true color doesn't shine
 in the pics
tj's knickers were made
of a rich deep
luscious purple
the top of sarah's dress too
the matching plaid
 was heavy, gorgeous taffeta
brought in especially for me
by jay broida the owner
of cutting room fabrics
he knew about my obsession
 with purple
so on one of his
 new york city buying sprees
he had me in mind
and my little girl
he was so excited to show me
i couldn't bring myself
 to tell him
that sarah was not doing well
in fact
the doctors were
starting to loose hope
her lungs were
continually collapsing
filling with fluid
she was aspirating liquids
to cause pneumonia
that would not respond
 to medicine
still i sat in my sewing studio
in the wee hours
 of the morning
to stitch up this
matching ensemble
for brother and sister
today as i look at
these photos
i recognize there
was a greater journey
one of immense teaching
the brother
the one who stood beside her
who protected her
without question


is right beside her
nearly every single day
i truly could not be more proud
of the man he has become
my heart swells with pride
each time i see the two of them
i hear them
engaging in grown up
conversation
yet my heart allows them to go back
to the day they
were wearing
taffeta plaid and
 fancy purple knickers

Monday, December 12, 2011

when life comes...

together and
things start
to make sense...
.
have you ever
 experienced
one of those times
i think i did
 today
all those years of
snow plow sam lessons
followed by
hockey, hockey and more hockey
and then it ends
or so you think
a few years later
sitting in world history class
only by a series of very
unique circumstances
boy meets girl
hearts go pitter patter
girl is nationally recognized
ice dancer
without a partner
sounds like a movie
sarah and i have watched
over and over again
wonder how this one
will turn out
sure is fun watching
i always thought
 a toe pick
would have been
 a fine choice

Saturday, December 10, 2011

angelina needs a family...

it's the time
of year
when the angel...
.
...tree goes live
over on the
it's the time
of year
when hearts soften
and funds are
raised
to help get the
sweet adorable children
born with down syndrome
living in orphanges
into the loving
caring homes
of a family
sweet
 adorable angelina
with her beautiful
red hair
and big brown eyes
is almost four years old
she needs a family
now
or she is in danger of being
transferred
where her life
will be even less than it is now
and death
is likely
please help pass the word
angelina needs a family
if you can't be her family
will you please
consider making a donation
 to her fund
familes are often out there
it's just the expense
 of the adoption that
holds them back
help us give a holiday
miracle to angelina

Monday, December 5, 2011

i love december...

it's the only
time
of the year...
.

...i can have
 two heaping scoops
of my all time
 favorite flavors
peppermint stick and
mint chocolate chip
i think i'll go
 curl up
next to the warm fire
to eat my ice cream
delicious

Monday, November 28, 2011

hand therapy

i believe
the current
word is...
.

...retro
reminiscent of things past
remember when i introduced
after some thought
i decided to take it back
a decade or two
ok maybe three
or nearly four for me
when all blocks
were stitched
by
hand
oh yes i can hear the gasps
you should listen when
customers come
 into the store
and see me pulling the needle
through the fabric
while i'm walking about
i'm loving it
the best hand therapy
ever
does a great job on
the mind too
total relaxation
the end product
retro in the best way
although i've heard
that look is current once again

Friday, November 25, 2011

black friday...

i'm so excited
about my
shopping...
.

...experience
never will you find me
 standing in long lines
winding around a big box store
i let my fingers
do the shopping
on my favorite creative site
this little quilted beauty is by
it will soon be hanging in
sarah's sewcial lounge
won't you consider
supporting artists
throughout the land
this holiday season

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

purple profile...

years ago
even before this
next photo...

was taken
a friend gave me a card
that reads...
you are a purple person if:
you are imaginative,
sensitive, artistic and
sophisticated
you have noble ideals
 and a keen appreciation
of the cultural
you are alert, demanding,
 foresighted, confident
resourceful,
spontaneous and highly independent
you take delight in the beautiful,
the gracious, the sensitive,
but maintain an attitude of
critical appraisal
you are active in the support
of things you believe in
and are concerned
with the pursuit of truth
 and other human values
you take chances
 and believe that you must do so
 to make the most of what
 life has to offer
purple is an exclusive
 unique color
and it is truly a unique individual
who holds it dear
twenty years ago today
as i bared my shoulders
 for the world to see
i did not see as much
of myself
in that message
as i do today

Monday, November 21, 2011

shattered dreams

precious iris
sweet adorable girl
forever angel...
.
Iris Catherine Palma
7/7/10 ~ 11/20/11

...gone much too soon
for weeks i've followed
 your daily struggles
open heart surgery
followed by complications
 fluid filled
and collapsed lungs
infections
irregular pressures
pulmonary hypertension
plummenting oxygen saturations
then a complete code
each hour i relived the emotions
with stephanie and anne
as they were posted
you seemed to be following
 the same path as my sarah
day by day
hour by hour
i felt the constant heartbreak
followed by
intense elation
when one tiny flicker
of activity on a monitor
gave new hope
i wanted so to believe that your
outcome would be different
that your mommas
 would hold you once again
that they would see
 your precious smile
instead what they have right now
are shattered dreams
and broken hearts
i know there were several girlies
waiting to take your hand
kristen, carly and lois
 to name a few
a party in heaven
where that extra chromosome
is celebrated
in glory
 i am sure

Saturday, November 12, 2011

lusciously x-rated...

my mind
and body
are aching...

...for some
sewing time
it's been much too long
since i've had access
 to a machine
 so tonight
 i am sitting down
with needle and thread
thought i'd do something with
hello luscious
the newest release
from basic grey
it won't arrive in stores
until february
which makes
x-rated
a carrie nelson schnibble
 the perfect pattern
for a
 valentine
 creation

Friday, November 11, 2011

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

smokin' hot...

flipped the page
in the
photo album...
.

...the one from twenty years ago
and found this
at first i was just going
 to pass it by
then my honey came down
and told me
 i looked smokin' hot
it was the reference
to fire
 that made me
decide to scan it
just in case
i never want to forget
that yes
there was a day
when i'd show my legs
i also remember
finishing this outfit
on the way to the event
as john drove
i sewed
typical of our life
back then
wouldn't change a thing
though

Monday, November 7, 2011

conflicting emotions...

from the moment
you look
into his eyes...
.

you know the day
will eventually come
it seems so far off
in the undefinable distance
it's easy to pretend
 it will never happen
then it does
the day your baby boy
moves out
 into the world
on his own
the funny thing
i've been hinting of late
sometimes in a subtle way
and sometimes not
still
 he didn't seem
 to be in a hurry
to flee the parental nest
then out of the blue
he tells me he is about
 to sign a lease
turns out he has been looking
for a great many weeks
that's my boy
i should've known
mr independent with
a well thought out plan
he took me for a preview
but not
until he first took
 his sister
which of course
 melted my heart
last evening he told me
about a new
herringbone couch
a side chair
a chocolate brown table
 he showed me
 a stripped pillow
he was so elated
 i was happy to share
 in his excitement
until he told me
about buying a
king size bed
and that's when it hit me
he's leaving
for good
my baby boy
has grown into a man
in a flash
of an instant it seems
i had to fight the tears
from streaming down my face
i wanted to run and hide
curl up in a corner
so this is what it feels like
my head
 tells me it's time to go
my heart
wants him to stay
somewhere
 in the middle
i'm as proud as i can be
he'll always have a place to visit
and a permanent corner
in my heart

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

beautiful heartbreak...

a beautiful yet heartbroken soul and friend shared this with me. i thought it perfect to begin the season of thanks and gratitude. it's such a powerful reminder those around us may be hurting much more than we know. yet through all the heartbreak therein lies the beauty...

Monday, October 31, 2011

would you like a pony too...

when tj asked
to be a cowboy
for halloween...
.
...i asked if he'd like
a pony too
turned out to be the
most winning costume
ever
by all who wore it
over the years
today it turns up
twenty years later
a perfect visual
for what's about to happen
as the lone ranger rides
into the sunset
out there
on his own
not exactly
atop hi ho silver
rather
 inside a red taurus
either way
he's holding the reins
in total control
so proud of you son

Friday, October 28, 2011

my two sons...

fiveteen years ago today...


i was blessed
with the miracle
of a second son
two boys
i wasn't sure i was ready
 or worthy
of such a responsibility
jeepers have i made
 some mistakes
said a few unkind words
held an unrealistic
expectation or two
today i know this though
i would give
 the sun
the moon
 and the stars
for these
two divine creatures
two amazing young men
as different as night and day
yet both perfect
just the way they are
motherhood
i've come to realize
is the greatest of all blessings
full of challenge
wonderment and intrigue
i've also come to learn
there a few times that only an
i'm sorry
 followed by
please forgive me
will do
each year they grow
so do i
and i hope to
be granted the gift of
continual learning
 which will allow me to
share in their
splendor
for many years to come
happy birthday matt
i love you

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

quilt shoes...

be honest now...
...could you resist?
.

me either
the best
impulse shoe buy
of my lifetime
well at least since i
turned fifty
when
comfort trumped
style and heels
love my quilter's keens
found my

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Monday, October 17, 2011

at long last...

i've finally
found my
sewing machine...
.
...again
after being buried
under boxes and junk
for so long
the last few weeks
my body was craving the
motion of the machine
i started with a
little project
that was almost finished
love me some
chocolate and blue
by our favorite kate spain
thought that would
give me a boost to
jump back in with both feet
ugh ugh triple ugh
the cutting counter
just never enough
hours in a day

Friday, October 14, 2011

a sugar valley beauty...

do you ever
stumble
upon a photo...
.

...that just brings a smile
to your face
i had that experience
today
over on facebook
saw this beauty
posted on the gammill page
and i grinned
from ear to ear
love, love, love
 the fabric and design
the colors are divine
so i clicked a few more
times to see just
where the picture
came from
turns out it's not too far away
in bellbrook ohio
even found more pics
of the purple beauty
maybe one day soon
i can connect up with
amy bouchard
it's truly becoming a small
world thanks to that
other redhead
you know the guy
famous for starting this
facebook thing

Sunday, October 9, 2011

no words...

it isn't often
that i can't
find words...
.

...words of comfort
words of inspiration
words of wisdom
even words of criticism
yet tonight
i am just plain numb
unable to think
unable to read
unable to process
just a few short months ago
i posted on this very blog
one lite candle
sweet precious girl
carly elizabeth george
who was taken from this earth
much too soon
tonight
we have two candles
one for carly
and one for her brother brad
who lost his life
 in a house fire last evening
the very house he and carly
shared memories
i do not know how this
momma and papa
joany and paul
can possibly survive
such a tragedy
two children
and all their wordly memories
gone in such
a short amount of time
just last month their daughter
ashleigh
a beautiful young woman
left for basic training
with the united states navy
how will she ever
 regain her strength
i have no answers
only questions
and a very strong need
to reach out to joany and paul
in whatever way we can
to help them simply put
 one foot in front of the other
the sadness is unbearable
please pray

Friday, October 7, 2011

a perfect plan

october is national
down syndrome
awareness month...
.

...they say that nearly
twenty three years ago
at the moment
of conception
a somewhat rare
anomaly occurred
yet it would be
several months
before i'd know
for i was
 blessed with a
a perfect pregnancy
a quick and easy birth
then early
the next morning
august tenth of eighty nine
the doctor shared the news
forty seven chromosomes
one extra for my girl
the shock
 it rocked me to the core
i didn't understand
why were we the ones
to travel down this road
today as we stand
 in our store
surrounded by bolts
of fabric you've selected
 in your favorite team's
 colors of scarlet and gray
there is nothing
 that could bring
more joy
 than to clearly understand
 the absolute perfection
 of the grand
 and miraculous plan

Monday, October 3, 2011

courage...

inspired
sharing...
.

...memories about their
experiences
with country fairs
i dug into a box
with the pics
from the summer
i arranged for
my girl scout troop to
 attend the ohio state fair
as i looked at lots
 of really good photos
i came across this one
i look scared
to death.
and i probably was
fear of heights
it's always been there
yet i couldn't look like
a coward
in front of the girls
i was suppose to be
 the leader after all
today
when i look at these photos
courage is what i see
 it's not visible
to the naked eye
it was hidden deep within me
like a silent strength
i was traveling
with a group
of young women
trusted to my care
and
a very medically fragile daughter
one who could have collapsed
in my arms
 at any time
without a moments
notice
at the time
i was given
loads of courage
to move beyond my fears
today
looking back
i'm not sure how i did it
but i did
renews my faith
 that
one won't be given
more than they
can handle
today i am most grateful for
the good times
the memories
and the courage
it can move mountains

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

the gifts in life...

as if
perfectly
on cue...

i turned the page
of the photo album
from twenty years ago today
and this picture is what
i found
 a tiny tj
just three and one half years old
in my office
as the regional director
for united way
i had multiple offices
this is the one in geauga county
i'd often have a few tasks
needing completed
on a saturday
especially if i had taken
time off during the week
to tend to sarah's medical needs
i almost always
 took tj with me
it gave him a break from being with
his medically fragile sister
and he was such a good boy
he would sit
very patiently
playing with the calculator
for hours if need be
he loved punching in numbers
and then seeing the machine
tape continue to spew
out until it reached
great lengths
then he would take
a red pen
 and circle all the numbers
i had forgotten about those days
i suppose he was
destined to be a finance major
in college
all the way back then
which makes finding these photos
so perfectly timed...

...today
 i handed over
 the financial reins
of our company
american medical computing inc
to this boy
all grown up now
i'm confident he will do
 an excellent job
take it to the next level
and beyond
and that my friends
will allow me to spend
more time creating
in the house of fabric
like those
chairs behind us
the minute the man
who had this job before me
 moved out
i took them home for a weekend
and reupholstered them
with the fabric you see
gave the office
a twinkle of sunshine
tj i love you son
you've worked hard
you've earned the title
of cfo
dad and i are so proud
and honored to have you
in our family

Sunday, September 25, 2011

it's fall y'all...

it's probably
no make that
a definately...
.

...my favorite time of year
here in ohio
i love the colors
the cool chill
in the air
the food
pumpkin
anything and everything
warm tomato soup
my besty is from
panera
the changing leaves
and the dark nights
i get so much more done
in the evenings
when it's dark outside
the inside projects anyway
and that means
soon i should have a
spot to sew again

Sunday, September 18, 2011

homecoming times three...

it's different
this last
go around...
.

...maybe i no longer
 sweat the small stuff
perhaps it's just
old age
or possibly
experience
i've got the pattern down
boy meets girl
girl takes charge
end of story


or perhaps i've learned
that kids really do
step up to the plate
treat them like young adults
and they will
show you just how
great they can be
such a pleasure to
watch this group grow up
this is our future
and a bright one it will be

Sunday, September 11, 2011

the 9.11 memories...

i continue
to read
the words...
.
matt, sarah and tj ~ september 2001
the flag belonged to a fire chief
their great grandfather hillick

...never forget
and i ask myself
how could we
that one day
changed the world
altered our thought process
forever
today as i watch
 the replays
the new photos emerging
the memorial service
i am reminded
that life is so very precious
we are so vulnerable
yet stronger than
anyone of us can imagine
life goes on
what we do with it
is up to us
and collectively
as a team
we are stronger
for the experience
today
ten years later
i am so proud
of my country
for coming together
as one nation
mourning the great loss
yet celebrating
our courage
and our freedom