Monday, November 7, 2011

conflicting emotions...

from the moment
you look
into his eyes...
.

you know the day
will eventually come
it seems so far off
in the undefinable distance
it's easy to pretend
 it will never happen
then it does
the day your baby boy
moves out
 into the world
on his own
the funny thing
i've been hinting of late
sometimes in a subtle way
and sometimes not
still
 he didn't seem
 to be in a hurry
to flee the parental nest
then out of the blue
he tells me he is about
 to sign a lease
turns out he has been looking
for a great many weeks
that's my boy
i should've known
mr independent with
a well thought out plan
he took me for a preview
but not
until he first took
 his sister
which of course
 melted my heart
last evening he told me
about a new
herringbone couch
a side chair
a chocolate brown table
 he showed me
 a stripped pillow
he was so elated
 i was happy to share
 in his excitement
until he told me
about buying a
king size bed
and that's when it hit me
he's leaving
for good
my baby boy
has grown into a man
in a flash
of an instant it seems
i had to fight the tears
from streaming down my face
i wanted to run and hide
curl up in a corner
so this is what it feels like
my head
 tells me it's time to go
my heart
wants him to stay
somewhere
 in the middle
i'm as proud as i can be
he'll always have a place to visit
and a permanent corner
in my heart

2 comments:

Zoey's mom, Heather said...

Sending you love and peace to you mommy heart, as I know, all too well, these conflicting emotions. I try to remind myself, that this is just how is should be. Ours to raise and love, nurture and care and then send out into this world. doesn't make it easier but I promise,it gets better and then you embark on this other relationship. And you will find, they still need you and even more, in some ways. On an emotional level. As they begin to make life decisions and it is a different relationship but it is just as beautiful. Love you Joyce.

mathangie said...

As a brand new parent, it seems to me that parenting is a series of conflicting emotions. I feel for you Joyce!I know that I am going to be in your shoes someday.