Tuesday, August 2, 2011

the answers...

...were here all along
in the bottom
drawer of the big...

green file cabinet
tucked in the furthest
corner of the basement
the timing of the need
to replace the furnace
requiring moving
  the file drawers
could not have been
more perfect
the last piece of closure
to the pain
 of the past twenty five years
as i poured through the folders
i found things i had
never seen before
or at least don't remember
maybe that was intentional
my high school diploma
from the real glenoak
my graduate school transcripts
from ohio state
the awards i received
the leadership positions i held
job descriptions
my husband's college diplomas
a rebuttal to his first professional
performance review
my dissolution papers
our apartment lease
my acceptance letter to law school
the condo mortgage and deed
ahh the wedding file
which held lists and lists
not one including shari
and more lists
there were more revisions
than the white house
 has for state dinners i'm sure
in the end
most were not invited
it was a small event
not what i envisioned
 but it was easier that way
hindsight being double twenty
this is where
 the recovery begins
or rather ends
i would have taken back the night
not let it nearly destroy us
rather run
sprint for a destination
the rockies, the desert, the beach
but then again
maybe it was all it
 was suppose to be
perhaps it played out
exactly as it was planned
preparing us for what
was to come
there are parts of the drama
that have not changed
not in twenty five plus years
yet the commitment
the love
have endured
bonded beyond measure
and that strength
was developing
from those first months
of that time so
many years ago
life is too short
to wallow in misery
i've read everything
in the file drawer
shredded the things
i'll never need again
never want to see again
i know the past year
 or so has been
 truly the happiest
of my life
in just a few hours
i am taking back the night
i am about to
 marry the man
 of my dreams
all over again
this time
there are no lists
no drama
no dress, no flowers, no dinner
just a man
and a woman
recommitting to love and to cherish
till death do us part

1 comment:

~ Teresa ~ said...

That is just so beautiful. Congratulations!