one quarter of a century...

that's how long

i have had the

privilege of...

.

 

...mothering this sweet child

he was my first born

it was a new experience

i rocked the job

in the beginning

maybe even

 thru the toddler years

once he reached school

i simply repeated

 behaviors

i had observed

behaviors

i had been taught

and that's when my skills

started not being

so great

i look back now

with tears flowing down

 my cheeks

i should have

wrapped my arms

around him more

and simply held him

i should have

just allowed him to be

to share what he wanted

to share

and shut up

i should have worried less

about what others thought

i should have learned that

as a mother

you put your own needs

behind his

i should have accepted

his choices

without criticism

and when i failed at that

i should have learned

to apologize

i should have told him

i love him

every single day

i know this

because

 that's what

i'm yearning for

for me

the child within me

it's not too late

i'm still alive

and thankfully he's still

 beside me